Adoption Reunion Stories > A Decision Only a Mother Can Make!

4 Jan 2007

We called Cindy and told her that we had contacted Zelda.. Even though Cindy appeared to take it all in stride, we could tell she was very hurt at her birth aunt’s negative reaction. We could, of course, go on with the search and locate Cindy’s birthmother, but knowing Cindy was on a limited budget, we discussed her options in detail, leaving the decision up to her as to just how far she wanted us to go. She decided to not do anything just yet until she talked it over with her husband and thought things out. However, only a short time later, she swallowed hard a couple of times, took a deep breath, picked up the phone and bravely called Zelda, pleading with her to not hang up the phone. Cindy was prepared to beg her to talk to her and was pleasantly surprised to find Zelda, in Cindy’s words, “sweet as pie!”

After our call, Zelda had immediately called Jo, who lives in Connecticut, and told her of the call from Research Etc and also told her what she had said to us. Jo said, “I’m sure that’s my birth daughter looking for me! If they call back, you give them my phone number and tell them to tell her where I am!!” So, by the time Cindy had called, Zelda was more than willing to tell her where to find Jo, and offered a sincere and embarrassed apology to Research Etc. Cindy’s mother, Rita, bought Cindy the gift of a 2-hour-long phone calling card and Cindy and Jo spent 2 full hours talking, laughing and crying! The mystery of Zelda’s reaction was also cleared up; Jo had been raped by a family friend and was forced by her parents to relinquish Cindy. Zelda was reacting from the raw emotion of her sister’s 30 year-old painful experience. When she found that Jo was no longer controlled by the pain, then she, too, was able to let it go.

Cindy has already met with her Aunt Zelda and cousins, and had a great time! Cindy was happy to learn that she has four brothers and a sister! She has spoken numerous times with Jo and is planning a trip to meet with her as soon as possible! Cindy will now meet the woman who gave her life - and Rita can finally thank the woman who gave her Cindy!

Note: People, whether friend or family member will often try to do what they think is best for the search subject. This is a dangerous mistake. Family relationships have been destroyed and friendships lost over interferences such as these. Luckily, in this case, Zelda called Jo and told her about what she had done. Jo set her straight and not only did the relationship remain intact, Zelda also reaped the benefit of getting a new birth-niece!

Research Etc.

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